Entry by: Lori Overcash, Assistant Director of Hope & Help
I did not realize until recently that I have major trust issues. I didn’t think I was so much of a control freak, but there is some evidence that indicates otherwise. That’s not a description that I particularly like, but accepting the truth can be the first step in changing things that are undesirable. And this characteristic definitely falls into the “undesirable” column.
These trust issues affect my relationships with the people around me. I grew up believing that “if you want something done right, you’d better do it yourself.” Wow! Arrogance exudes from that statement!
During the past year I have become aware of how uncomfortable I am when I’m forced to trust other people. Hope and Help had a banquet and we asked our Board and Advisory Council to invite the guests. Totally out of my control. We hired a caterer, making our food quality totally out of my control. We hired a video production company to make a promotional DVD which was finalized the DAY OF THE BANQUET!!!! That was totally out of my control.
But, guess what? It all turned out great. I learned that we can have a banquet without me being in charge of everything. The seats were filled, the food was good and the DVD rocked. So things can turn out OK if I don’t do them myself? What? But I thought that I…
My trust issues also affect my relationship with God. I trust Him with my eternal destiny. I trust Him to overlook the greatness of my sin and see only the blood of His son whom He sacrificed to pay the price to ransom my soul from eternal destruction. But I can’t seem to trust Him with the little everyday things. Hmmm. This makes no sense. He can save “a wretch like me” but when it comes to overcoming difficulties and challenges that I face daily, He can’t be trusted with the outcome. Really? OK, that sounds even sillier typed out than it does in my mind!
In 2010, I want to learn to trust more. Not blind trust, but trust that people who love the Lord and love HHI are just as capable as I am (perhaps more than I am) of getting the job done. Mostly I want to trust God more. He sees the big picture and knows what my family needs, what Hope and Help needs, and He is able to orchestrate the circumstances so the result is beautiful harmony. I need to learn that if I want something done right, I need to let God do it!
